Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Mothers

  1. #1
    Site Admin Tulsa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    19,322
    Thanks
    3,317
    Thanks Received
    9,538

    Default Mothers

    It was my mothers birthday yesterday and I came across this..

    I OWE MY MOTHER


    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm go ing to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
    Meanwhile, somewhere in Oklahoma.

  2. #2
    da shadow d mowery's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Minneapolis Mn
    Posts
    2,154
    Thanks
    1,231
    Thanks Received
    804

    Default

    Amen,Almost like we had tyhe same mother
    These are my opinions and no body elses and you can't have them

  3. #3
    Goodwill Ambassador luckydog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    bradenton, florida
    Posts
    31,487
    Thanks
    13,448
    Thanks Received
    24,112

    Default

    you forgot

    "YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT" :lol: :lol:
    幸運わんわん Luckydog or Yukiwanwan in Japanese

  4. #4
    Utopia1dc
    Lurker Utopia1dc's Avatar

    Default

    Amen,Almost like we had tyhe same mother
    Or atleast our Moms read the same pamphlet? :lol:

  5. #5
    da shadow d mowery's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Minneapolis Mn
    Posts
    2,154
    Thanks
    1,231
    Thanks Received
    804

    Default

    Maby that was the instruction book that we did not get
    These are my opinions and no body elses and you can't have them

  6. #6
    Mr. Pachitalk arbycoffee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Jesup Iowa 'The Right Place'
    Posts
    19,372
    Thanks
    2,920
    Thanks Received
    15,150

    Default

    Your Mom & Dad done a good job!
    "This is My Personal Opinion and no others"

  7. #7
    Mr. Pachitalk arbycoffee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Jesup Iowa 'The Right Place'
    Posts
    19,372
    Thanks
    2,920
    Thanks Received
    15,150

    Default

    TULSA
    "This is My Personal Opinion and no others"

  8. #8
    The Barbarian johntofva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    6,181
    Thanks
    8,814
    Thanks Received
    4,128

    Default

    Thank goodness that my employer has an unlimited supply of printer paper, to print stuff like this.
    Life
    It's what happens
    When you least expect it.

Similar Threads

  1. What famous mothers have said
    By beachcat in forum These are the days of our lives...
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-17-2009, 07:33 PM
  2. Mothers' Day
    By doug in forum These are the days of our lives...
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-27-2008, 09:44 AM
  3. Mothers Have Taught Us Well
    By arbycoffee in forum Dear Arby
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-17-2005, 09:28 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •