Stimulus Payment Info

[arbycoffee]

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes,
beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US .

[johntofva]

Prostitutes...cool. I will tell the wife that I am stimulating the economy.

[Tulsa]

Prostitutes...cool. I will tell the wife that I am stimulating the economy.

Well I was thinking of going to a baseball game myself but to each his own!

[Lazarus]

Well I could pimp out a few prostitutes at a garage sale! If you take them to a ball game is your business.

[arbycoffee]

Get a Tattoo — it last forever . . . . . . . . .

[compirate]

Potentially so is what the prostitute will give you!

[johntofva]

Potentially so is what the prostitute will give you!

That is the spirit Dave. We will be further stimulating the economy by spending money on medicine and healthcare, sort of a two fer.

[bfree]

Wonder if a Tatoo of a prostitute driving a Japanese car to Walmart to buy a computer and other foreign stuff would be okay?

[pinball wizard]

i will be spending most of mine on beer,maybe the rest on a prostitute or tattoo.arbycoffee,if you are interested in running for president next time around ,i would definately vote for you!