Found a Great Song on the E-waves Pachinko Plinking Blues

[arbycoffee]

I Got Those Pachinko Plinking Blues
by our own Bilko44


I went to the eBay today (ba dah dah dum)

Took a look at what they got (ba dah dah dum)

Old Pachinko they have alot (ba dah dah dum)


Texas auction says Buy It Now! (ba dah dah dum)

Come along little doggy,

Buy It Now!

Buy It Now!

No thanks, I say

For that much, I could buy the cow!


Slot USA says Only One Dollar

No Reserve

Pachinko for a dollar

How absurd!

Lifetime warranty, free balls and more!

Pay Now-- Late shipping guaranteed!


Pachinko Pros say we cheap!

Buy me for a Buck

I bring you Luck!

To your house from my store

Only Three Hundred more!


Ain't no deals

Ain't no fun

When you got those Pachinko Plinking Blues.


Copyright on this mournful ditty belongs to "Steel Balls"BILKO44



So many of you pachinko fans out there have asked about his songwriting and singing career. Here is a bio that was recently published in Pachinko Blues World:

"Steel Balls" Bilko 44 was born in Alabama during the time when cotton was king and times were hard. As a child, Bilko44 was attracted to things round and became a marble champion at his local public school using a steel ball bearing as his favorite shooter to destroy his opponents.

It wasn't soon before Bilko44 was cleaning out the older kids of more than marbles. One morning before school began Bilko44 was hustling a 5th grader in a particularly wild marble game when he noticed the kid had brought a Sears & Roebuck Roy Rogers guitar with him for show and tell.

Bilko44 proposed a wager.

The kid would put up his guitar and would lose it if Bilko44 could run the ring of the remaining ten marbles . If Bilko44 failed, he would give the kid his two pockets of marbles including his notorious steel balls. The kid took the bait, lost his guitar and "Steel Balls Bilko44" was on the rocky path to greatness.

Over the next 50 years wars were won and lost, men went to the moon and back while "Steel Balls" perfected his singing and playing skills. To help him and his elocution Bilko44 began singing with ball bearings in his mouth. This was particularly painful as every time one of the balls touched one of his fillings, a small electric charge was created. Much to his delight these sudden shocks allowed Bilko44 reach new highs in painful soul singing.

Unfortunately, no one was interested in his style since the Beatles, Mick Jagger and Barry Manilow seemed to have a grip on the public. "Steel Balls" faded into obscurity.

Then, a stroke of fate thrust Bilko44 back to fame. Bilko44 was getting ready to list his old Roy Rogers guitar on eBay when he typed "steel balls" into the search function.

Up popped "Pachinko Steel Balls" and numerous pachinko games. Bilko44 was fascinated with the pachinko games and immediately ordered one. When the game finally arrived, Bilko44 realized this game filled that empty space in his life that had existed since his mother had thrown away all his marbles (including the feared steelies) when she kicked him out of her house a few years ago.

"Steel Balls" was back! Except this time it was pachinko balls that ruled his life. When he won playing pachinko, he was happy, but, when he lost, his mournful lyrics and gravelly voice captivated pachinko lovers throughout the world as he sang of lost games, deceitful sellers and inscrutable Japanese instructions.
_________________
Dennis



Some of his Raving Reviews

it looks like you lost your marbles don't quit your job and go into songwriting!!!! but, you are a good story teller!!!!

If "Steel Balls" Bilko 44 needs a few extra bucks, he can always do TV ads for Diabetes testing supplies.
He can say that pricking his fingers twice daily makes it hard to turn the knob on the Pachinko machines...

LMAO! I liked it! I can hear the harmonica whinning in the background.





Some of you might think "Steel Balls" Bilko44 is a one-hit wonder. This is not true! I am clearing the air by providing a brief discography of "Steel Balls' hits since he discovered pachinko.

Top Ten Steel Balls Hits

1. I Gave My Heart to Betty Lou, but Pachinko Stole My Balls

2. Pachinko Makes Me Yen for Wins and Win for Yen

3. Bent Nails Pierced My Heart

4. Yakuza Luvs a Looza (Steel Balls' Gangsta RAP classic)

5. A Spherical Gas (Steel Balls advises that Chili Beans and Pachinko Don't Mix)

6. Pachinko Balls Done Killed Old Blue ( Steel Balls acted quickly after discovering Blue had swallowed some errant balls by promptly feeding Blue a dose of CLR to prevent internal rusting but, to no avail, and Blue passed on to that great Doghouse in the sky. )

7. Pachinko Fever is a One Hand Ball Shuffle (Released in US only)

8. Strange Ending & Straw Raincoats Grow Deeply My Heart (Released in Japan only)

9. Bouncing Balls Gave Me a Fever

10. Pachinko--Falling Balls--Broke (Steel Balls' only Haiku set to music is the world's shortest song lasting only 2 seconds.)

We will be trying to Book him to sing at our next Convention in 05'

[Bilko44]

Steel Balls is notoriously shy. During his numerous concerts, he always performs with his back to the audience.

No photography or recording is ever allowed during his performances. Those attempting to break these rules have had their cameras immediately seized by security. It is rumored that Steel Balls maintains a sizable listing of like new cameras and recorders on eBay using a pseudo name unknown to anyone but Steel Balls. When questioned about his cottage industry, Steel Balls said it's just a harmless hobby.

Below is an extremely rare photo of Steel Balls relaxing playing his favorite pachinko game, Wanted.

[arbycoffee]

You can see he win big by them ball trays, he has enough balls for all of us.