01PyTypeR#1140 Joke Of The Day!!!

[01PyTypeR#1140]

girl talk

two checkout girls in a supermarket talking.1 girl said that she can tell if a man is single or married.just by looking at what he has bought.the other girl said i dont believe you.the first girl said well watch this.just then a man came through the checkout.the girl said to him.pardon me sir you are single arent you.the man said. wow how did you know. the girl said.cause your realy f...ing ugly...

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Funny Dumb Joke


How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?

It climbs up and paints its nuts red

Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?

A giraffe eating cherries!

[01PyTypeR#1140]

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

An old man once told us...
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.
So my wife called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Stolen Engine

A blonde woman is driving a Porsche and she sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road.

She stops to ask what's wrong.

The owner of the broken Porsche said, 'I just had a look under the hood, and while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.'

The other said, 'Oh, don't worry, I have a spare one in the back of my Porsche.'

[luckydog]

I've heard that one 40 years ago except it was with VW beetles

[derbyboy]

I've heard that one 40 years ago except it was with VW beetles

I think 01PyTypeR#1140 is just doing his part to keep the planet "green" by recycling old jokes.

[Sid]

Either that or he is Joke dumpster diving..

[johntofva]

I am going to go with dumpster diving.

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Chuck Norris - Taxes

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever

The only time Chuck Norris was
wrong was when he thought he had
made a mistake...



______________________________________________________
chuck norris pees uranium!
______________________________________________________
When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, Chuck
Norris doesn't get wet...the lake gets Chuck
Norrised.
______________________________________________________
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong
to a "who has more testicles
contest." Chuck Norris won by 5

[01PyTypeR#1140]

dog joke

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"

"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog."

[Meathead]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra (bar joke #3)

[dattia]

Sorry 01... you had me laughing on the first one...but then you lost me. I've taken back my "Thanks"!

[compirate]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra (bar joke #3)

dexlysia Rayhoo orf!

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Sorry 01... you had me laughing on the first one...but then you lost me. I've taken back my "Thanks"!

It happens.

[bfree]

dog joke

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"

"No."

A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.

"That's not my dog."

Peter Sellers
______________________________________________________

Chuck Norris - Taxes

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever

The only time Chuck Norris was
wrong was when he thought he had
made a mistake...



______________________________________________________
chuck norris pees uranium!
______________________________________________________
When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, Chuck
Norris doesn't get wet...the lake gets Chuck
Norrised.
______________________________________________________
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong
to a "who has more testicles
contest." Chuck Norris won by 5

Where's the This Sucks button?

[drcrippen324]

so dose that mean when the bogy man gose to sleep each night he chcks his closet for chuck norris ???

[01PyTypeR#1140]

so dose that mean when the bogy man gose to sleep each night he chcks his closet for chuck norris ???

Indeed!

[01PyTypeR#1140]

New Salesman

A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota ."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

The kid says "One".

The boss says "Just One? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101, 237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold hi m a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.' "

[luckydog]

another recycled joke

[01PyTypeR#1140]

another recycled joke

But a good one! This time...