01PyTypeR#1140 Joke Of The Day!!!

[new in town]

Pro-ZAK! Wheres my PRO-ZAK!

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Headlines of 2050

Florida to Be Readmitted to Union


Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen


Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals That Probes Were "Just For Fun"


Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. "This Is True Love," He Beams.


President "Bonecrusher" Jones to Face Chief Justice "Mad Dog" Ortega In Cage Match


Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife


Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants


Younger Generation's Music Provokes Outrage of Elders


D.C. Zoo to Receive Rare Cow


Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGE-DisneyCiscoFordRJR-NabiscoExxon-Mobil of Monopoly Charges


50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss

Gas up to 39.24 per US gallon

What 2050 headlines can you come up with:questionm

[teqkng]

Ok So how to I let my 8 year old read it... ANd he thought 3rd grade was tough.

[Meathead]

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten
over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.


Incredibly drunk and walking home they
needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.


One of them had nothing to wipe with so she
thought she would take off her panties and use them.


Her friend however was wearing a
rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.


She was lucky enough to squat down next to a
grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.


After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the woman's
husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife

was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:


These girl nights out have got to stop!

I'm starting to suspect the worst. .. my wife came home with no panties!!'



'That's nothing' said the other husband,

'Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said...

'From all of us at the FireStation.
We'll never forget you.

[FTKServices]

That one was funny.

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Marital Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish

[01PyTypeR#1140]

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

Well, said the Director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

Oh, I understand, said the visitor.

A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

No said the Director, A normal person would pull the plug out.

Do you want a bed near the window or the door?

[BigBearSteve]

[dattia]

Not me

[luckydog]

A senior moment, I forgot how to spell heed

[luckydog]

according to global warming Florida may be under water by 2050

[FTKServices]

WOW.. even the people inland will have an ocean view...

[johntofva]

according to global warming Florida may be under water by 2050

Sounds like a good time to buy some land in southern Georgia.

[dattia]

Gee...01, you'd better pace yourself with these jokes. I'm getting worried about you

[hanabi]

As we were looking at English words a little earlier in this Thread,
I thought this Link might be interesting...

Some good reading and interesting observations


http://www.theinterpretersfriend.com/misc/humr/eng.html

[01PyTypeR#1140]

Learn Chinese

That's not right. - Sum Ting Wong.

Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me as soon as possible. - Kum Hia Nao.

Stupid Man. - Dum Gai.

Small Horse. - Tai Ni Po Ni.

Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table. - Ai Bang Mai Ni.

I think you need a face lift. - Chin Tu Fat.

It's very dark in here. - Wai So Dim?

I thought you were on a diet. - Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King.

You are not very bright. - Yu So Dum.

I got this for free. - Ai No Pei.

Please stay a while longer. - Wai Go Nao?

Stay out of sight. - Lei Lo.

He's cleaning his automobile. - Wa Shing Ka.

Your body odor is offensive. - Yu Stin Ki Pu.

[drcrippen324]

definatly a groaner that one

on a side note sid is there any chance of adding a double groan button for such ocations

[johntofva]

Yes... We need a double groan button.

[Sid]

well if i do add one it will probably crash the board...


especially in this thread..

[01PyTypeR#1140]

well if i do add one it will probably crash the board...


especially in this thread..

Ha... ... ... ... ha... ... ... ... that was soooooooooooooooo not funny.