Stun gun....... Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
This originated from a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket
Taser" for their anniversary.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking
for a little something extra for my wife Toni.
What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The
effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no
long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to
retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and
brought it home.
I loaded two triple A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the
button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed
the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd
get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the
prongs.
Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that
burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with
this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with
only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat
Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the
directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on
a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping
Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it.
She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my
wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that
it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of
shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the
bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and
a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly
make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst
longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the
while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than
3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy,
bitsy triple-a batteries, thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What
happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....I'm
sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to
say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a
tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad..
I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY
MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$@$%!@ *!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up
in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over
and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position,
with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, with my left
arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard
before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do
it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself
with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second
burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until
it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-..
that hurt like he**!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was
a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had
left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on
the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps,
right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it
had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
Still in shock, Tommy
what a
"I've stopped fighting my inner demons, we are on the same side now." 
Reply With Quote
Re: Stun gun....... Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
. He is a Bulldog/Eskie mix.
Originally Posted by lucentenigma
She disrespected him by not listen to him so the officer disrespected her by using the socially approved "cop can use at well" Tasergun.
